If you’ve ever watched your teen fall apart after a tough game, this one’s for you.
Feed them first. Talk later. Then remind them they’re more than the score at the end of the game.
⚾ Game-Day Meltdowns Happen
I sat and watched her cry after a game she thought went terribly.
She missed a play, struck out, and convinced herself she let everyone down. And the worst part? There was absolutely nothing I could do to fix it.
No pep talk.
No “you’ll get ’em next time.”
Not even a “but you did great!”
Because I’ve learned, and this is crucial, do not attempt deep emotional conversation until food has entered their body.
Seriously. Feed the feelings first.
🌮 Food Before Feelings
After that first bite of tacos or fries, we can usually talk. We’ll go over what went well, what didn’t, and what she wants to focus on next time. But before food? Forget it. I’d be better off talking to the dugout fence.
We’ve seen the full range of emotions over the years — the ultra highs where she’s on top of the world, and the ultra lows where she’s in tears in the car before we’ve even left the parking lot
💬 Kids Carry Heavy Pressure
These kids are so hard on themselves. One mistake, one strikeout, one missed goal — and suddenly, they’re carrying the weight of the world. It’s hard to get them to see what we already know: nobody is perfect.
Some games just aren’t their games. And that’s okay. Because the next one? They might be the star of the field.
📝 Our Tournament Ritual
The lesson I keep trying to teach her (and maybe myself too) is to embrace both. We can learn from the hard moments, celebrate the great ones, and laugh at all the messy, in-between stuff.
We started a little ritual before tournaments:
“What are three things you want to accomplish this weekend?”
Sometimes she hits all three. Sometimes she doesn’t hit any. But either way, we circle back after the final game — after the monster is fed, of course — and talk about it.
What did you learn?
What did you do well?
What do you want to work on next time?
No judgment. No pressure. Just honest reflection.
🚫 What Not to Do After a Hard Game
What blows my mind is watching some parents tear into their kids right after a rough game. I get it, emotions are high, and it’s hard to watch your kid struggle. But these kids are dealing with so much already. They don’t always know how to process their feelings, and our “constructive feedback” can just sound like noise when they’re still in that emotional storm.
Let them be quiet.
Let them be mad.
Let them scroll on their phone.
Let them cry.
Let them ask for food.
Because after all that — that’s when they’ll start to open up.
🕒 Adopt the 24-Hour Rule
There’s a saying about coaches: “Give it 24 hours before talking to them after a bad game.”
Maybe we should do the same for the people who mean the most to us.
We don’t need to coach every emotion. Sometimes, we just need to sit beside them, quietly.
Let them cool off. Let them breathe. Let them eat.
Then — and only then — talk about it.
❤️ Their Worth Is Bigger Than the Score
Because in the end, it’s not about one bad game. It’s about helping them see that their worth doesn’t depend on the score. It’s about raising humans who can handle disappointment, learn from it, and still find their joy.
And if that takes a cheeseburger and a little quiet time in the car, well, that’s just good parenting.