🎓 When Two Kids Leave for College at Once
This year, we didn’t just send one daughter off to college, we sent two, within a span of two weeks. Two. Weeks. There is absolutely no handbook for that level of emotional whiplash. One minute you’re buying dorm décor, the next you’re ugly crying in the Target parking lot.
⚽ One Week Early
One of our girls moved in a week early because she plays collegiate soccer. That last week with her at home? My husband was a mess on the inside. You could see it all over his face, even though he never actually said the words out loud. He was trying to be strong, trying not to show the emotions… and while I understood it, it was still frustrating at times. For me. For her.
She was already nervous about leaving. Not knowing how her dad really felt only added to that anxiety. During one of our late-night talks, you know, the ones where everything comes out — I finally told her the truth:
Your dad is going to miss you. A lot.
And he did. We all did. Those two weeks were a full-blown emotional roller coaster for everyone.
💔 Letting Them Go
For 18 years, you pour everything into them — love, consistency, guidance, showing them right from wrong, and teaching them what kindness really looks like. You encourage them, correct them, protect them, and cheer them on as they grow into who they’re meant to be.
Then one day, they’re ready to go live the very life you spent years preparing them for.
It’s beautiful… and it hurts.
I was once told that true success as a parent is measured by how well your child can stand without you. I’m still learning how to let that truth settle in.
🏠 An Unexpected Gift
Because of an unplanned surgery, one of my daughters ended up being home longer than expected. And honestly — it’s been nice. A gift I didn’t know I needed.
But my other daughter? She left and, in many ways, never looked back. (Okay… slight exaggeration. But not by much.)
That first week was brutal for me. I checked Life360 more times than I’ll ever admit out loud. I texted constantly:
- What are you doing?
- Why are you there?
- You need to be back at the dorm early.
- You have class in the morning.
It created a wedge between us.
She wanted the freedom she had finally earned.
I wanted to protect her — from everything.
🕊️ Learning to Trust
After a long talk with my husband, I realized something I didn’t want to face: I had to let her go. Trust that I did my job. Trust that she would find herself. Trust that mistakes would teach her what I no longer could.
Let her spread her wings.
Let her fall if she must.
Let her fly.
It was — and still is — one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
She goes days without communicating. She’s only 45 minutes away and comes home once in a while. And yes… it hurts.
💪 The Weight of Being the Safe Place
My kids were dealt a tough hand when it came to their fathers. For 90% of their lives, it was just me and them.
I was there for:
- The happy moments
- The terrible twos
- The moody teenage years
- The rules
- The consequences
- The tears
- The fights
- The first heartbreak
I was the punisher.
The rule-enforcer.
The mean mom.
And also the safe place.
The one who would never leave.
The one who would never let her fall.
The teenage years were hard. We fought more than either of us wanted. She pushed boundaries. She pushed limits. Along the way, she carried the weight of a complicated relationship with her dad — and sometimes, that pain landed on me. Not because she meant to hurt me, but because I was her safe place.
And while that relationship is his loss, not hers — because he will never fully know how incredible his daughter is — I know one thing for certain:
She grew anyway.
She flourished anyway.
And now, she’s strong enough to stand on her own.
🦃 Thanksgiving Changed Everything
Then Thanksgiving happened.
She came home.
And we didn’t argue once.
She was different, in the best way. We laughed. We talked. We spent real family time together. And for the first time in a long time, I saw the young woman she’s becoming… not just the little girl I raised.
💌 The Quiet Moments That Matter
It still hurts when I don’t hear from her.
It still hurts when she chooses to stay on campus for the weekend.
But then there are the moments that make it all feel worth it.
Like the DMs she sends me on Instagram — little reminders of how much love she has, or messages about things that remind her of me.
She’ll say, “This was you, mom,” about the way we celebrated holidays.
Or the latest one: “All the holiday magic came from my mom.”
And in those moments, I realize… maybe I didn’t do a horrible job after all.
She carries pieces of me wherever she goes.
Deep down, I know I raised her the very best I could.
🙏 One Last Prayer
And she knows this too:
If she is ever in trouble…
If she ever needs an ear…
If she ever needs advice…
I am always just one call or one text away.
Every night, I pray over her.
And I quietly whisper into the dark:
“Come back home to see your mom once in a while.”